How can it be less than a week 'til Thanksgiving !!?? 

I have got to quit blinking -- I am missing way too much. 

Though here is something I wish I could have missed  -- but -- of course, could not :

The death of my mother 

It has been a little over a month ..... and there have been many days when I think I can not bear the grief/the infinite sadness her death has brought into my life. Thank God it is something that you only have to go through once. 

The only peace I have right now is knowing she went suddenly and painlessly ... but, to tell you the truth,  that knowledge provides me with very little solace.  For, I selfishly wish I had known [ for just a little while]  that she was dying ... to have had a few moments to be with her and to say goodbye.  *tears*   Ohhhh, how selfish of me, huh -- because in order for that to have happened she would have probably had to have endure some amount of pain while I was getting to her to say those goodbyes.  Yes -- I know, I know !!  But all of grieving is basically selfish, isn't it ... so going that one step further is not totally without reason. 

I know this grief will ease ... but until then ... I am left with this one thought --- "The rest of my life will [perhaps] be a long time to miss her".

Anyway ---

As this holiday approaches I am trying to focus on the good things in my life and be thankful for each of them.   My heartfelt hope goes out to each of you --- that you too, will look only at the good that fills your lives and rejoice in that !

huggs and take care of yourselves -- and each other

Lodi

Hugs to you... holidays always seem to be the hardest after the loss of a loved one. Cherish the good memories... and don't beat yourself up because you didn't get to say goodbye. It doesn't make it any easier... and there is nothing wrong with missing a loved one. I've lost someone very close to me 20 years ago to cancer that I had a whole year to say goodbye to; and not a day goes by that my good memories of her don't surface in something that I'm doing.. or something I said... or hearing a little phrase that she might have said that makes me think of her. I like it that the good memories don't fade away. You'll see.. it does get easier.. and if you really pay close attention to what is going on around you.. you will notice that your mother only left you in body.. her spirit is still here with you in your memories of her and in your heart.

Hi, luv. To be quite honest, I don't know what prompted me to stop by here tonight. (I do from time to time, but not often.) I read about the loss of your mother and the message touched my heart deep down. I lost my dad and it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to endure. There were times when the ache was so raw that I didn't think I could go on. And yes - the ache never goes away, it just becomes easier to deal with. For that we can give thanks. I used to cry when speaking of my dad, but now I smile. And so shall you. God bless you and know that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. ~Angel
Note: I don't know what purpose the post of "anonymous'" is, but I think that person could have spent his/her time here in a more comforting and supporting manner... JMO

Oh Lodi
I'm so sorry hun I'm very shocked & so sorry.
My heart aches for you & what I know you must be going thru, even now. I wish I could help heal your broken heart, but sadly I know no one can. I can only hope that with time you'll find peace with it & that you will once again know the joy of living.

Lodi, I'm so very sorry I haven't been around more. I wish I would have been around ....

My very belated thoughts & prayers to your family hun

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